Wednesday, November 19th, 2014

ten ways to let go of what others think

Being free to be you – your authentic, wonderful self – often  means  letting go of what others think. It sounds easy but it’s often hard to do in practice. By nature we are social beings, and we often care about other people’s opinions.

This can be both our strength and also our Achilles heel. Taking on board the opinions of people we respect and value can be a fantastic catalyst to positive change, allowing us to utilise strengths and chase dreams we may not have thought ourselves capable.

But the opposite  is also true.  Taking  to heart  critical feedback from others,  or trying to please  narcissists and other damaging people can lock you in a perpetual circle of striving to achieve the unobtainable. As Mark Twain so sagely said: ” Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

This is where you come in. Unleash your greatness, take your foot off the brakes and start driving your own ‘thought bus.’ Being your own wise counsel and tapping into you higher self is one of the many vehicles to creating self-esteem – a wonder magic carpet of self-valuing and love for you – imperfections and all.

One of my clients, a wonderful creative, caring and intelligent woman struggled with repetitive negative thoughts which kept her stuck. Many of these thought patterns originated in negative conditioning from her childhood, which followed her like a wet blanket into the future, suffocating her true essence. One of many strategies I tasked her with was to generate a list of ten ways to let go of what others think. Here’s what she shared:

  • Don’t compare myself to others
  • Remind myself I am not a mind reader
  • Be myself – it is enough
  • What other people think is none of my business
  • Be aware if it goes badly – don’t let it consume me
  • Fall in love with myself
  • Don’t always assume the worst
  • Distance myself from those that don’t make me feel fantastic
  • Be confident and certain of my choices and actions
  • Focus on what I can control
  • Don’t fixate on the past – move on quickly when it doesn’t go so good
  • Surround myself with things that remind me of the above i.e. great people, books, pictures, journals etc.Lot’s of fantastic  strategies that I’m sure many can identify with. I’ve always liked the quote: “I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is, try to please everybody” ~ Herbert Bayard Swope.

Keep this in mind next time  your tempted to worry about what others think. Care more about how you feel,what your dreams are, and follow your path with heart. What you let go of will no longer control you, and what you say ‘yes’ to will put wind in your sails, and inject fresh energy into your life.

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